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God I must smell really bad by now. Urk. I'm halfway through Wigfield now. Damn good book. Damn good. Heh, I keep fantasizing about what a great couple Sebastian and Steve would make. *sigh* What the fuck is wrong with people? Life is very frustrating right now. With Josh&Mandy and the cleanliness thing and school time moving in ever closer. DAMMIT. I feel like crying. That would be good. Crying is always fun....my problems are stupid. All of them. I'm kind of sad that the OCD is almost completely gone now. I haven't taken my Paxil all summer and I feel fine. I'm sad now. I wanna be depressed. I miss it. How fucked up is that? Wow. I must be so annoying. But I don't hate myself. Dammit, why don't I hate myself??? Fucking....brain. LEAVING NOW, SHUT IT BIATCH.


Aug. 3rd, 2003 07:33 pm (UTC)
I wanna be depressed. I miss it. How fucked up is that? Wow.
I don't think that's fucked up...I kinda know what you mean. I have chronic depression, on and off, and sometimes when I feel it coming on I just welcome it instead of trying to make things better, because it's just so much easier that way. When I get really depressed, I know it's not good for me but it feels nice not having to deal with anything, just removing myself from everyone and everything is so much easier.
So...yeah, I'm sure that's not what you meant and I feel like I'm making my own entry in this comment so I suppose I better shut up now. :P
But, I do hope that you feel better hun! *hugs*


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