February 17th, 2006

Ho

That gurl ain't right in the head

Ever since I got an actual copy of my book, I've been editing whenever I have the time (and remember to).
I realize that one of the reasons I'm so ashamed of my writing is because it's very plain. It doesn't really have much flair...and I'm not sure if that's a major flaw, or if it's just my style of writing. If I tried to make a conscious effort to add more sweeping flourishes while writing, I'd never get done with anything. For me, it really feels like the driving force in my writing is concept. Not necessarily the overall concept, but more so the smaller ones that add up to create the larger ones.
Sometimes when I'm editing, I'll come across a sentence or paragraph that makes me cringe and think, "how the hell did I ever think that was coherent?"
But then sometimes I'll find an idea in there that makes me say, "how the hell did I come up with that?? It's actually kinda...good."
It's interesting how things fall into place. Like, how easy it is to put something really random and seemingly inconsequential in a scene and then you realize that it could be part of a major plot point and it scares you that your subconscious can put things together in such an odd way. R-right?

Also, I changed my hair again. I don't mind saying that my new hue(s) is pretty darn cool. I think I would like to share a picture or two tomorrow when I can photograph in the daylight.

Also, while doing research for a speech, I discovered that I still have a form of OCD. I'd always thought that the symptoms I have were just left over from the full-blown OCD (like, residual or something), but it turns out they consider it to be a whole different form of OCD. Huh...interesting. My case seems to be extremely mild and infrequent, so it's not like I'm going to rush myself back to my psychiatrist's office. It's just good for me to know that I still do have a mental disorder. Oh lawd, my family is so mentally fuckededed up it's not even funny. Well, okay, it kinda is.
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