January 27th, 2005

Spazzy bear-thing

Cool Beans

So me and my bitches were walking 'round the back alleys of Japantown looking for johns this evening when we were approached by a young mastodonic creature. I says to him, "Damn, you got some big-ass teeth!" and he says "No, those're my tusks!" He turned out to be pretty cool, though. And a really good dancer.

Anyways, after we picked up the tutus, my sister Cornelius called and asked us if we'd like to attend a pool party in Spain. I said why not, so we hopped in the ship and got there JUST in time to see Richard Nixon set James Madison's head on fire with a flamethrower. It was really lucky that there was a pool there, or we might've had to call the police. I did think it was a little strange that two dead American presidents were at a pool party (I mean, they weren't wearing bathing suits! How can you go swimming without a bathing suit?? It's impossible).

So after a long and arduous process, we found out that boulders DO float, and don't just dissolve in water like we'd thought. Utilizing this new discovery, we were able to stop in Africa before heading home to visit my old friends, the !Kung. We ate some giraffe meat but the children kept poking me with sticks, and since I didn't have my pokin' stick with me, I decided that it was time to go. Oh, and we inadvertantly destroyed Africa in an attempt to gather more fuel for the ship. Sorry, our bad!

I eventually did make it back home, but I haven't been able to get to sleep since the neighbors keep throwing pudding at my window. Anyways, long story short, my DVD burner broke. Damn.
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